A new paradigm is firmly upon us, and with it, comes the challenge of arriving into the vision we hold for our lives. The constant balancing act between “Me” and “We” has many of us juggling home, family, and community commitments with the commitments we have made to be more true to ourselves this year. At times it feels a never-ending tug-of-war between ‘who I am to you’ and ‘who I need to be to me’ as we try to arrive into the vision we hold for our lives.
Maybe it is time to adjust our perspective yet again and see our challenges through a new set of eyes. Maybe it is time to end our internal tug-of-war and start shaking hands with both ‘Me’ and ‘We’ instead of straining against our self and each other in the fight to gain influence over our life?
Maybe this really is an evolutionary process, as opposed to a revolutionary one.
It is possible that the quest to arrive in the world as who we truly are, makes good use of the imbalances in our relationships with each other in order to help us learn to take the reigns and guide our own lives forward.
When we finally notice that we are more invested in others than our own self, maybe we are uncovering a much more revealing truth: maybe we actually prefer being more invested in others than ourselves so we never have to face the fear of arriving into this world as our real ‘Me‘.
Maybe we just find it safer to invest in another’s ‘stage’ than to arrive on our own?
We often use each other as the rationale for why we can’t arrive into the visions we hold for our lives. We collaborate to offer each other as the perfect excuse for why we simply can’t be who we know we are inside. We use our children, family, job, colleagues, financial circumstance, friends, feelings of unworthiness and powerlessness, duties, commitments, and responsibilities to convince us that we never really need to arrive in us at all. Rather, we have mastered prioritising everything else over our ‘Self’.
Valuing ‘self-sacrifice’ over ‘self-serving’, we aspire to serve others ABOVE our self.
I wonder, do we have actually it all backwards?
Who convinced us that being SELF “ish” (as in: ‘kinda like yourself’ or ‘Self-like’) and being “Self” “serving” (i.e. The Self is Serving) are actually bad ideas? Taking a new perspective on the subject, what if being “Self-like”, and “Serving from the authentic Self” are actually the goal?
What if the goal is actually: SERVICE THROUGH SELF?
I suspect that our excuses not to invest in self would become cunning diversions from our original soul’s path. We would have to start facing the answers to the question, “Why are we following a different direction in our life than we know is true inside of us? Why are we standing on a different path standing out-of-line with the deepest intentions we hold for our hearts?
Our answer: We fear that we will not loved and accepted for who we really are inside.
We face the questions: What if they won’t accept and love the real me? What if the real me isn’t good enough? What if the real me, isn’t, in fact, loveable when I am not my previous title, position, identity, knowledge, qualifications, looks, money, success, generosity, charity, …. ? What if the world won’t embrace the Me that I hide from them – the parts of me that I am dying to bring forward into my life alongside all that I am being now.
Afraid, we choose to stand still, convincing ourselves that we can still find happiness by living through the eyes of external approval rather than self-actualisation.
To arrive as our authentic ‘self’ is to arrive exposed on our life stage, naked in front of our own world, fully expressed, and fully revealed – with our real heart on display.
The return to the authentic self, and the ability to live one’s life in alignment with it, is a journey in self-love – Loving what we are so the world can love what we are. That requires courage. It requires us to get behind ourselves, face our fears and surrender all our excuses to come out of hiding.
As a teenager I received an award for “SERVICE ABOVE SELF”. Though the award was a recognition for service, I feel today that the aspiration to serve ‘above self’ is more of a misnomer to me now … Today I aspire to a new mandate, SERVICE THROUGH SELF.
It’s an investment in ‘Me’ so that I may serve the ‘We’ from a more authentic place.
It requires standing separately together – fully realised, we serve the community as self-actualised individuals.
Maybe this is what it means to truly commune. Maybe that is what it means to truly serve.
You are your own puzzle piece – bring your colours through.